Pressure to Succeed

Tonight during a class with two middle school age girls one of them broke down into tears.  We were doing a listening activity where I said some simple sentences in English (like my name is Tom, I am 20 years old, I like hiking, and I live in Tokyo) and the girls were to write down what I said.  I thought the sentences I had planned were simple enough and I repeated myself several times, very slowly, but apparently it was too much for this poor girl.  I don’t know if it was just not being able to spell the words in English, or feeling dumb for not understanding, or perhaps an unrelated problem at home, or maybe just being 13, but she couldn’t handle the pressure and she spent the rest of the lesson holding back some heavy tears.  

I tried to reassure her that there was no pressure and that she had done fine, but she was inconsolable.  I almost ended the lesson so she could leave and be alone (I have been in that situation where you are so upset that you can’t stop crying and it probably would have felt better for her if she could have left, but it was freezing cold outside and her parents wouldn’t be by to pick her up for another twenty minutes, so I just decided to play a game with the two of them.

The pressure to succeed in this country is very tangible if, not overwhelming.  From such a young age, children are trained not only to think they need to be the best, but at the very least be just like everyone else.  These dual pressures to both fit in and excel  appear to cause an internal struggle in Japanese children that makes them feel both an incredible urge to have the right answer, and an incontrollable fear of having the wrong answer, or at least a different answer than there classmates.  Some children exhibit this conflict in greater measure than others, but all of my students show signs of the conflict in some way or another.  Even my most gifted students seem hampered in someway by the fear of going against the grain, making a mistake, or being seen as different.  

More on this later

Here are some things I’ve been thinking about in relationship to this:

The conflict seems to be greater in girls than in boys, but certainly is not limited to girls.

Japanese girls are taught from a young age that quiet observance and obedience are valued traits in a respectable female.  WHAT?  A nine year old girl actually said to me, “I’m a girl, so I should be quiet and listen?”  Is this 2005 or 1905?

Adults seem to have the same problem, in lesser degrees. Some of my adult students baulk at the slightest hint of error, and appear to be more concerned about making a mistake than learning.  

I wonder if Japans cultural need for uniformity and unity are crippling its creativity and independence.

I’d like to explore more the negative aspects of American independence, self expression, individualism, and bravado that seem to contrast so much the Japanese cultural sensibilities.

Lots and lots and lots to think about.