Homemade sleep charms

Tonight it was a spatula to scrape away any scary people; last night it was a ‘sleep train’ to play with in bed.  Before that it was a sleep tissue, and a sleep rock, and there were some sleep raisins.  Every night for the past two weeks Callan has gone through more than a half hour of songs, books, stories, and gentle good nights from Mom and Dad without calming down enough to fall asleep.  Usually we say good night and shut his door and go into the living room to wait quietly for him to emerge.  He usually comes out holding his doggy, and says, ‘something’s wrong.’  We ask him what he needs and instead of responding with an answer, he collapses into a limp pile on the floor and whimpers a little.  At this point one of us picks him up and puts him back on his bed and asks what he needs to sleep.  Sometimes he says a glass of water, or a snack, but usually he just says, ‘umm, umm, I need…’ and then we say ‘how about a sleep rock’ or some other object that comes to mind.  Almost without fail, we can narrow in on something that he can use as his key to falling asleep.  Tonight, like I said, it was a spatula.  After I gave it to him, he lay on his chest scraping the spatula back and forth on the floor for a few minutes, and then fell asleep.  I just went in to check on him and he is asleep with his doggy under one arm and the spatula next to the other.

He is testing a lot of boundaries lately.  Whether it’s coming inside for dinner, or picking up his trains, or putting on his diaper, or getting out of the bath, or out of the car, he has been very choosy about what he will and will not do.  It has been a real lesson in patience to reason with him about his decisions and help him make good choices.  Tonight when he wouldn’t pick up his train set, Melissa said, “Callan, perhaps if you are not old enough to pick up the train set, then maybe you are not old enough to play with the train set.”  To that Callan responded, “No,” and picked up his trains.  Creating non-threatening, rational, understandable consequences to his actions has been the goal, and though sometimes it seems like it would just be easier to pick him up, or force him to do what we want, the benefits of finding a more creative, more diplomatic solution are immeasurable.  The hymn that says ‘every soul is free’ certainly applies to parenting as much as to discipleship.  

I have been having a surprisingly difficult time dealing with his new found independence.  There is a part of me that feels like because I work all day, then take a bath with him, make him a snack, get his bed ready, and basically take care of everything he needs, that he owes it to me to be obedient.  Now the rational part of me knows that is a bit much to expect from a two year old brain, but when I’ve spent thirty minutes reading stories and singing songs only to have him pop up and say, “I want to watch TV,” it is difficult to feel rational.  I am amazed at how easily the temptation to lose my temper comes, and how awful things turn out when I do.  When I raise my voice, or get stern, or otherwise become negative, Callan’s independence becomes worse, and he becomes more aggressive.   Things are much more successful when I remain calm, and help Callan choose on his own to do what he needs to do.   Wow.  And were supposed have two of these in October?